HOPE and CHANGE

I might be setting myself up for a great fall, but little is important to me today besides the fight that I have taken on. I dread the lingering regret if I should lose, but I will avoid the crushing regret of just letting it happen. The loss could come quick, the recovery relatively short and painful. But a victory would take far longer, prove me to be the man I know I am, and bring the worthwhile pain and joy that I have left unlived. A loss would be all about me, the victory about so much more.

I will look different after this week. After this week I will be different.

I never dreamed that so much of my life would be decided in a single week. For better? For worse? It is definitely a week of change. I hope I never take things for granted again like I have in the events that led up to this week of decision. Decisions put off... time wasted... life's beauty left unexplored.

I'm looking forward to a month or two off work. Yes, I have accomplished good things in the last 4.5 years. I have a pile of cash. But, as it stands today, I have little else.

Time off to do what? Everything and nothing. Exercise and rest. To roam and to be still. To think and to stop thinking. Austin, Texas is an easy day's motorcycle ride. I have friends there who have homemade beer and a place to sleep for a night or two. I'll be there. Thanks for the invitation, Jo.


Marty needs a break. Two, actually.




Holy crap I'm scared.